i “broke the seal” on my new script tonight. two pages in, of what i’d guess will end up being seven or so total. and i’m feeling great about it. i have what i think are pretty distinct voices locked down. the characters are driving the scenes. extra business / life is building itself on top of the outline, and it’s still hitting all its marks pretty organically. it’s going better than i imagined.
getting started on the actual writing has been the hardest part for me in the past few years. i’ve built out full plots and outlines for a number of stories that never got beyond a bulleted list. i think the fear is that once i start putting actual words and dialogue into place, it necessarily has to measure up to my expectations for it; the story can no longer just float around as a vague collection of feelings and imagined scenes, but it actually has to be the first realization of that flawless vision. it’s the same as putting pen/pencil/brush/whatever to paper when attempting to draw something; if it doesn’t line up to what i have in my head, then i become discouraged.
i’ve done a good job of convincing myself that in anything less than ideal conditions, i won’t be able to produce my best work. and then once i’ve created imperfection, that i won’t be able to make changes to it since that is how it was realized. as though something written on the page can only be written down truthfully one time, and any alterations to that will be artificial. these are the lies i have to get past.
the more comfortable i become with taking these leaps of faith, the more productive i will be. the more assured i feel that can make edits and revisions and more than just one draft, the more content i’ll be able to create. i just have to relearn this piece of the creative process.